Family time

The past few weeks have been filled with a LOT of driving to and from Charlotte. I was to thankful that my vacation time was approved. (Even if I am loosing 3 days of vacation since time doesnt roll over to 2013). I took what I could get and ran with it.
I decided to drive to Charlotte to pick up Caitlyn on Friday before Christmas from the airport. Otherwise, she would be stuck there twiddling her thumbs til 3 when my dad could get her. Anyways... plans changed. Her flight was canceled and then she had to rebook and that one was not good so the third time was the charm and she got in at 11 that night. Needless to say, we had grand plans to eat lunch with my mom and then go shopping with all the crazies out there. I talked with Daniel and decided to still go shopping (by myself now) and still have lunch with my mom. So I left early, went to Concord Mills and then some other stores and then off to get lunch. My mom was SO excited to see me since she thought I would bail on her. (Come on! I'm not that flaky am I?)
Lunch was Chipolte. I haven't had that since forever ago. I would assume 2 years.
After lunch, I went to Trader Joes and then Dad and I went to Sweet Frogs for some frozen yogurt. It was delish! My parents really like that place and I almost NEVER turn down ice cream/froz yo.
Dad and I ended up chatting for a good long time in Sweet Frogs and then went to Costco to get pizza for dinner. By the time we got home, we had some time to kill so we talked and read our food/agirculture/nutrition books and discussed topics such as chicken coups, grass fed animals, and how much Evan and I have in common.
Anyways..... We all had dinner and then Mom and I stayed up to go get Caitlyn from the airport.
Her flight came in late so we ended up napping in the car!
Needless to say, we called it a night once we got home.
The next day my mom had to work but Dad was off work. Caitlyn, Patrick, Margee, and myself met to do a crossfit workout (your welcome guys). I headed it up with music, an interval timer, warmup, and of course the exercise. Afterwards, Caitlyn and I went to grab lunch with my mom and do some shopping around. (aka Caitlyn didn't get a Christmas gift for my parents so I drover her around to get one). 
We ended up not having dinner til late that night and then watching Elf. Patrick and I ended up watching the back of our eyelids. We both fell asleep watching the moving about halfway through. I guess falling asleep during movies runs in the family.
Sunday was started with a walk with Mom and Caitlyn and then some cookie baking. This is where it got pretty interesting..... So my mom doesn't label her containers with what is inside. No sharpe, no name tags, nothing. The first batch of pb cookies turned out fantastic. I test the batter before actually putting them in the oven for consistancy. The second and third batter we could not figure out what was wrong. I was so discussed that I had to wash my mouth out and eat a cookie to make the awful taste go away. Lets just say that I put a CUP of SALT in the cookie batch instead of sugar. It was all clumped together like how sugar can get and didn't look different. Anyways... two batches in the trash and off to make the 4th batch. Thank goodness we figured it out! I ended up bringing a jar of peanut butter to the house since I wasted so much.
After the famous fail of cookie making, I had to get on my way back to Greensboro.
Christmas eve was at our house. Daniel's mom, stepdad, gma, and stepdad's sister all came over for lunch. Daniel is freeken in love with fresh pasta these days and can make a mean sauce so we did spaghetti for lunch. Everyone had the noodles but me. I really am not a fan of noodles. Anyways, what I decided to do is cut up zucchini for my noodles and boil them briefly.It turned out really well! But the best part is that I got this veggie peeler thingy that I am really looking forward to breaking out this week to make some good stuff. We opened up gifts and then had dessert. I wasn't too fond of the apple pie but the blueberry pie had crumbles on top and that was good and then Debbie brought a family recipe of some things and Daniel LOVED them. (Even if he had them after everyone left) I thought they were good too but I just dont eat too much of that stuff anymore. The cats got some toy which they were fighting over after everyone left. Figures.
Christmas am was started with Daniel and myself going to the Waffle House like every year. We stopped about 1/3 the way down for food and coffee. We got our free coffee at Sheetz and our food at Waffle House. We got to my parents by 11:45 and met Evan's girlfriend and her daughter. They very much seem to fit together and I wouldn't be surprised if its a permanent fit. Anyways.... we had our presents opening once Caitlyn decided to show up. She borrowed my dad's car and said it was too foggy to drive. I think... I mean Val and I think that she had a little too much wine the night before. Anyways.... doesn't matter. She got there safe. It was a lot of fun opening up gifts. My dad is VERY good at putting fake names on the gifts as to and from someone. One gift in particular was to my mom. EVERYONE died laughing. It was from sexy santa to hot momma and the three 50 shades books. HAHA!!!! We had a good time if you cant tell by the writing.
Once 2pm came around people started showing up. My grandparents, Aunt, Uncle, and cousins showed up. Daniel got to fry the turkey and we all just talked and caught up. I was Daniel's helper in the turkey dept. We were a team and showed people how to eat the fried turkey as appetizers, etc.
We ended up rolling out of there at 8. (one hour after I had wanted to but o well!)
I took a doggie bag of leftover food from my plate and from the kitchen. I could not stuff myself silly.
On Wednesday after Christmas, I was off to my parents AGAIN for the following day. I went at night and wanted to be able to spend the day with Valerie, Evan and is new crew. We had fun talking and getting to know them. There was no froz yo this day but we did have lunch with my mom. Val and I ended up going back home at 4ish. I was toast from all the driving and ready to sleep in my bed.
I am really glad I was able to visit so much over the week since it is so rare to see Caitlyn and Evan. Seeing them once a year is a treat but being able to see them more than one day out of the year is even better!
I have pictures.... but they are on Evan's camera and he isn't the most prompt in sending them. O well!

high emotions

Right now... I am fragile. My emotions are as thin as tissue paper and will tear at anytime. Everything has been setting me off to either be angry or sad. I am wearing my glasses today because yesterday I cried so much that I ruined my contacts and had to throw them out.
I was contemplating on where to go to get my prescription because I have horribly painful cysts and decided on Harris Teeter. The gal there was not particularly nice and then told me the cost. I literally started crying and asked her for my prescription back and that I was almost positive I could get it cheaper at Costco. Its just that I now have to drive there in the cold dark rainy weather tonight.
I have decided to visit the doctor on Friday with question upon question in regards to moving forward with IVF. My condition has deteriorated so fast that the statistics that are shown, do not look promising. If they are in fact what is posted, I am not sure we will move forward with IVF anymore. I hope my age helps but sometimes you never know.
I am thankful that I have someone from my support group who have been so gracious in answering all of my crazy questions. It helps to be able to ask someone who just recently went through it and is well on her way to having a healthy baby in February or sooner.
I have turned off all the Christmas music at work since we are required to play it. It is on in the main house but not in my office. I would rather sit in silence.

Snowball chance in Hell

I went to the doctor today to make sure I did not have any cysts from this past cycle. Needless to say I had at least 4 that I counted. This is not a good thing.
1. They are extremely painful
2. They can burst at anytime
3. I cant start any other medication until they are gone
So that was the better of the two pieces of news that I got. The really bad news was when I asked if they had received my AMH levels back. To make things elementary, AMH levels detect how much longer a person can have a child. I had my levels checked 18 months ago and then two weeks ago. My levels went down substantially. In fact, so much that I only have a few months left to even be considered a candidate for IVF. (.5 is the cut off and I'm at .65)
So Daniel and I have two options.
1. No kids and/or straight to adoption
2. Try IVF and pray for a miracle.
Needless to say we are heartbroken and will most likely be proceeding with IVF in January since we literally have a matter of months remaining.That is if the cysts go away and my body responds to the medicine.

Disappointed

Well... disappointment strikes again. This will be the second and last month Daniel and I will be doing the shots. My body is not responding to the medication as we all thought and hoped and it has become so expensive that it doesn't make any sense to just do the meds. The cost went from a few hundred bucks to a few thousand bucks in the blink of an eye. Needless to say, financially we might just be better off going with ivf.
Of course if/when we decide to do ivf, I would take shots and then have a laundry list of other stuff afterwards. But we are hoping it won't come to that.