The results

From my previous post... sometime last year if you recall, I was diagnosed with PCOS. All along I really just didn't understand or get it and felt like that was not really the case. I had only a couple symptoms and did not "look" the part.
Fast forward to the beginning of August. I decided to go see a more holistic doc who was highly recommended to me. It took FOREVER to get an appt. I was trying to get an appointment back in June. Anyways.. I got there, did the run of the mill question answer thing with the nurse then the question answer thing with the doc. He started going on and on about how he would be happy to treat me etc etc... then I gave him my results from the past year and 1/2 of blood tests. From there, he retracted everything he said to me. He kept say premenopausal over an over again. I finally lost it and started crying. He then told me that he was not the best person to handle my situation and referred me to another doctor. (who I had happened to have an apt with back in December but ended up canning) So, I left the office, drove to Chickfila, ordered a milkshake, and was on the phone with Alex until I landed at the new doctor's office. I went in and asked for the first available apt. The apt was set for the following week. (I think they saw my face and knew something was up)
I got home and shortly after Daniel did too. He was very matter of fact about the situation and basically said not to cry over it because we dont have all the facts yet and there is nothing we can do to change what they think I have. Its just life. I understand his point of view and also understand it effects me way different than him because I'm the one who has this "situation". But the fact is that none of this made me feel good.
The following Tuesday I went in to the appt. Same drill as before. Lots of questions, weight, height, etc. The doc saw me and was looking over my notes which were about an inch thick. He told me the same thing as the other doc. Plus he said he did not believe I had PCOS but another condition that is similar. Blood tests would confirm this. We chatted about different options on what to do and then he sent me to get blood drawn. The nurse was not super nice at all. I dont think she believed me about my whole I dont like blood stuff. Anyways... almost fainted (of course!). Then the doc sat with me again to go over a couple other things and then I talked with another nurse until I felt ok.
Fast forward to the following Monday. I called to follow up on results. They did confirm that I dont have PCOS. (so I do have this other condition) The also confirmed this whole premenopausal situation. (yeah... NOT!)
Anyways... Daniel and I have had many MANY chats over what to do, how to proceed, when is enough enough, etc. These drugs that they want me to take are no joke. 1. They are super hardcore, 2. They are the most expensive drugs I have ever EVER taken in my life. Its all a gamble. A gamble with my life, with future, with what if things don't turn out the way we hope, emotions, stress, etc. One minute I want to start like yesterday and the next, Im terrified. Daniel feels the same way which doesn't make any of this easier.